Date: A week later

“Enough!” Heallen slammed the wet tea towel onto the kitchen bench, and marched into the lounge room.

She rifled through the magazine rack, searching for the issue with the article that had so offended her last week.

“Aha!” There it was.

She thumbed the pages as she sat down, yanking the magazine open to the right page.

And settled back, and reread the whole article.

And read it again.

She sighed.

“Damn.”

She had no idea how showing compassion to her husband, or to any of the people who regularly dissed her, could help her. It made no logical sense.

But that tiny voice at the back of her mind hadn’t gone away. Actually, it had pestered her and pestered her until she was more angry with it than with her bastard husband.

So she’d decided to give the idea a go. At least see how the experiment went.

“Right.” Decision made, Heallen pondered what compassion for Him would feel like.

Anger, resentment, frustration, envy, fear all roiled around in her belly, taking turns to claw her insides.

Heallen massaged her belly, hating the intensity of her feelings.

But her mind was made up.

She ignored her feelings, and set her intention. “I’m going to feel compassion for Him.” Even if it kills me.

 “I’m going to feel compassion for Him.” She willed the second part into silence.

“I’m going to feel compassion for Him.”

“I am going to feel compassion for Him.”

As the hours and days passed, her mantra on constant repeat, Heallen acknowledged  her changing attitude. Her feelings for His motivations softened the more she recounted His childhood experiences, putting herself in His place, empathising.

Knowing it didn’t excuse his behaviour, simply explained it.

She still preferred He would wake up to Himself, to use her mother’s expression, but at least her anger decreased.

Her heartache lessened.

Her compassion increased.

 

In the next post, discover the result of Heallen’s storycharging.

 

By |2018-03-24T21:06:33+11:00September 28th, 2016|Story of Heallen|Comments Off on Compassion for narcissists? Part 2: Storycharging her attitude

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